The New Game
by Millypede
Summary: John Watson has a troubled bloodstained past as a solider but when the anchor to his sanity jumps from the top of Saint Barts, will he cope or will his plan to survive make him fall? And when a certain detective finds this new John will it be to late to revive him? The new game is ON.
1. Chapter 1- Pherapy, again

**Okay guys this is my first fanfic and from prompt found on tumblr by itsmemorized -AU where after the Fall John knows Sherlock is out there somewhere so he becomes a mass murderer so Sherlock will have to solve his case**

Chapter 1- Therapy, again

I'm seeing my therapist again, never liked her. Mycroft was right-of course he was right, the pompous git was rarely wrong. She had it the wrong way round, I missed the war, I missed the adrenaline coursing through my veins as I saved, served and killed. I was haunted by some things, of course like my mates and comrades falling around me, and me not being able to save them ecspecially poor Tim, bright young thing he was, energy simply radiated off him, he was so eager to serve his country and queen, so eager to be apart of it all, the war, the poor lad met an unlucky fate though, shot, multiple times in his left leg, I tried so hard to save him but in the end I could only watch as the light leaked from his eyes, his raspy pleas stop and his breath shallow. I could only watch as, like the blood pouring out of leg, his life left and his body became an empty shell of who would've been a great man, of the boy who was a good man.

She could never understand, that's why she could never help, no one could. I remember our first session all those months ago, those months which seemed and should've been years._ 'John'_ she told me _'you're a solider, it's going to take sometime for you to adjust to civilian life'._ Time to adjust, right, she doesn't know how it is, I'm a veteran, they don't know how we're trained how we learn to channel this anger and control it, once you've become accustomed to the life of a soldier, you can never, truly adjust back.

When you're dumped back into the life you have forgotten how to live, becoming a civilian again, you start to loose control of that anger you were trained to use, you live in fear for lives of other people around you, you're scared every day that you will snap and kill someone, a lot of old veterans do and get sentenced for , on average, five years in prison. You finally just loose your sanity, you go insane, cut all contacts off scared you will hurt them and finally you try to rid yourself from this world, convinced that soon you will hurt some innocent person. You also get depressed, everyday remembering the friends and lives you lost.

Me? I'm no exception but Sherlock, that wonderfully arrogant, brilliant man had helped, he gave me the adrenaline I needed, no time to morn when I was in a new battlefield, the streets of London.

So when he committed suicide, I lost more than just my best friend , lost my safe haven and my sanity. His death brought back all the problems I had before when I was first discharged, but worse because now I have a different sense of normality, chasing murderers, shooting cabbies, getting strapped to bombs, exploding flats, cases, crime scenes, body parts in the fridge, experiments in the kitchen, the yard, running down the streets of London, jumping over rooftops and getting kidnapped. How can I adjust to civilian life now, when I thought I already was living one?

**So Chapter 1 is up! of my first fanfic too yay! now pleeeeaaaaseeee review**


	2. Chapter 2- Payrise

**Im going to try and atleast get one chapter up everyday and btw ****_italics_**** is john thinking and ****_~italics~_**** is a flashback sorry if john is ooc in this chapter.**

The ring of the doorbell rang through the flat of 221B Baker Street and John Watson groaned internally and set down his newspaper. He could hear Mrs Hudson greeting the visitor downstairs as he made his way to the door of his flat. Mycroft. When he thought the day couldn't get any worse the git had to prove him wrong. "Doctor Watson" Mycroft greeted while leaning on his ever present umbrella. _He has got problems with that umbrella hasn't he_ I thought_ with the emotional range of a peanut he has a mighty attraction to that umbrella, scandalous._ I smirked ever so slightly_ stop it John_ I orderd myselfw_ self control_ _what's happening to you? You're acting like a twelve year old. Decreasing behaviour to one of a child's age, is often how people cope in situations they find hard. Fuck my medical knowledge._

"Yes, hello Mycroft" what the hell do you want?

"Aaaaah Doctor Watson, but you don't know"

"Spit it out Mycroft we can't all be geniuses" _that git. _

The slight smirk that had appeared on his face broke "very well" and then strode into the flat. I rolled my eyes and followed _yes why don't you just come right in Mycroft_.

"Doctor" Mycroft said disapprovingly. _Damnit he must have caught that eye roll. Atleast he can't bloody read minds._ "Doctor hospitality is very important so next time try hiding your despise a bit more thoroughly" _well fuck, that's all I need a mind reader ~'Stop it' 'stop what?' 'Thinking, it's annoying'~_ _must run in the family._ I grimaced as I made my way to the kitchen

"tea?"

"Please"

Whille I bustled about making tea I remembered what use to inhabit this kitchen experiments and science equipment all over the benches and tabletops, body parts in the fridge... I was glad to get rid of the body parts and particular dangerous experiments and of course Mrs Hudson had donted the science equipment to schools, such a saint that woman, but now of course the room is lacking of what I had come to see as 'normal'.

"Alright Mycroft, what is it that you're here for?" I asked emerging back into the room with my tray occupying both our brews.

"I'm here to discuss my brother"_ oh dear god_ " And your payment"_ wait _

"I'm sorry" I said confused, my brow furrowing as I stare at my tea with bewilderment etched on my face.

"You're payment, doctor Watson" Mycroft said again tone making it clear he was already bored with the topic and doesn't take kindly to having to repeat himself. I roll my eyes innerly at Mycroft and his tone "payment for what" I ask, now looking at him full in the face.

"Your payment for keeping me informed of brother dear" Mycroft said as if it was clearly explained to him the first two times he said it and that really I shouldn't be that ignorant and observe.

"Mycroft" I said tiredly with my paitence wearing thin "I declined your offer remember" _dose he just hear the things he wants to hear?_ I thought. "Even though you declined doctor Watson, your blog" he mad the timiest face of disgust, I grimaced "gave me information, even though very scarce and that was of your doing, knowing full well it could be read by anyone, even myself soyou have still earned the money I offered you on the night we first met" I grimaced even more when I thought about when I first me Mycroft or when he first kidnapped me. still trying to figure what Mycroft is playing at I told him " I know you just pity me because I'm in an army pension and a part timer at Barts, which" I admitted grungely "don't pay we'll" Mycroft gave me a look, but I knew that was his reason after all I had flat shared with his brother and could never afford this place on my own even with the discount and the discount was only for Sherlock anyway, Mrs Hudson didnt owe me anything, if anything I owe her. "Well that is all Doctor Watson" said Mycroft standing up and returning his half drunken cup of tea to to the tray before I could say a word he was already striding to the door "my associates with your payment will be in touch soon, until then Doctor Watson" he nodded his head minutely in farewell and left closing the door and leaving me a tad shocked behind.

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	3. Chapter 3- Lestrade Calls

Its been two days since Mycroft came to call. Two whole days trying to hold on to a life that shouldn't of a life that lead to excitement, danger and adrenaline.

I haven't moved anymore of Sherlocks possessions out. I know its fruitless but I'm still holding on to the we lead, that he's not gone on a case,maybe he will just be home in a few days. I know its not healthy to think this but I cant help it. Somehow this doesn't feel real, the man who believed he was of godly status,dead, the man who was the most intelligent in London only rival his brother somehow didnt foresee this end.

I sigh as I moved my way into the kitchen it simply didnt seem right. One last cuppa and I will call Greg. He's always checking on me. I shouldn't be bitter though he's just trying to help and he was Sherlocks friend too and 'the least incompetent of the yard'.

I didn't get the chance to though because he called first. "there's been a murder" "What? Look Greg, what do you want" I'm no use to him! im no consulting detective with the power of deduction "I want you down to Brixton now" " look Greg I'm not Sherlock and you have a forensics team!" I said exasperated "NOW" Greg growled dangerously and I knew thats when I knww I was beaten, there's no arguing with Greg when he's like this.

I made my way out of the flat and hailed a cab, a murder, not as exciting as it use to be but none the less my adrenaline has gone up a little bit. Maybe Greg knows I need this, the danger maybe he's not as dumb as Sherlock thought. My stomache twists slightly at the name. _Stop it John_ I scolded _you're strong you're stronger than this._

I payed the cabby hastily and set off tto the crime scene. The house set of a twinge if an echo in my mind, not being able to pull up whatever memory its attached to I push it to the back of mind abd tell myself to ignore it. Its probably the feeling of normality but without Sherlock. _Don't think about it._

I meet Sargent Donovan at the police tape. "I told you to stay away from him, Sherlock Holmes, the freak" she spat his name with disgust. I bristle with anger _shut up. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP_ I roared on the inside. My fist clenched and I nearly punched her I came so close but then Greg called my name "John! " Donovan holds up the police tape and I enter, heading for Greg. _Oh no it's comming back. What am I going to do. Oh shit. I nearly HIT her._ "Greg tell me the truth, what am I doing here" _seriously what the hell_ "I need your help" Greg said turning on his heel and leaving knowing that I would follow_. That little shit I thought_ as I hurried after him.

As soon as I entered the house I thought it looked familiar with those high walls filled with pictures and paintings but then I saw it, the blood splattered on the wall and floor `U REPEL ME` spelt in blood also on the wall and Kitty Riley, laying dead on the floor.


	4. Chapter 4- A Murder!

**OMG GUYS IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN FOR LIKE EVER I HAVE BEEN STUDYING LIKE CRAZY GRRRR STUPID SCHOOL BUT I PROMISE I WILL MAKE IT UP TO YOU GUYS**

I was greatly surprised that I didn't feel any sympathy for the young reporter but she did after all had a big hand in Sherlocks death. I now had an had an overwhelming feeling that this had something the do with Sherlock and Moriarty even though they were both deceased.

At once I knew it had been a shot to the head, she had been running away from the attacker and the force of the head falling to the ground at a faster speed than walking when the shot hit made the blood splatter up the walls like this. I'm no consulting detective but Im pretty good when it comes to gun wounds.

When I explained this to Greg he nodded but I was still thinking, snipers are usually never seen and never directly on the crime scene sooo... why had she ben running if it was a professional sniper and by the looks of the precision if the shot he or she is a professional so why, why would she run. Then hit me. The sniper wasn't positioned on a building opposite. The sniper was IN the house. I was about tell Greg when I realised he was talking "uh, yes sorry?" he gave me a exasperated look and replied " you have not taken in a word I've said have you" I shook my head minutely " aaaaah you sod" Greg said and grinned goofily at me, I gave him a look and then proceeded to follow him.

_Where IS he taking me and why am I here?_ "Okay John, through here please" Greg motions to a door and I entered facing with a sight of an interrogating room. The first thing I saw was a flash of blonde hair as a woman turned to face us. " oh" she sighed and turned back to grab the folders on the interrogating table "Sir" she turned back around to Greg and gave him the folder containing information on the evidently the man she had just been interrogating "your turn" she said as she walked past Greg and flashed me a smile.

"Now John this is Sebastian Moran" I looked from Greg to the man on the other side of the table- Sebastian Moran, Strong build with tattoos on his arms, dark blonde military style haircut and was grinning at us with a cat like smile. Sebastian Moran, that name struck memory _hmmm I think Sherlock mentioned it once but no, that can't be all that face he looks so familiar..._

"Hey Johno" as soon as Sebastian said that memories flashed through my minds eye times at the military with one comrade who he always laughed and healed and fought with no matter what until he got a dishonourable discharge for shooting one of our own. I gasped at the man sitting before me "seb"

**were you guys expecting that? let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 5- Sebastion Moran

I** AM A TERRIBLE PERSON FOR PUTTING YUOU GUYS THROUGH THIS IF ANYONE WAS ACTUALLY READING BUT FOR THOSE WHO WERE READING AND HAVE WAITED HER ENJOY!**

"You do remember, do you Johno? Its been so long" Sebastian smirked up at me "yes, yes it has been quite while hasn't it?' I saw him crack a smile, small but genuine."Wait, you two..." Greg dwindled off shocked. "Yes DI me and John go waaayyyy back ,don't we Johno" Sebastian said saying the last part to me. "um, eh hem yes, well.." I stuttered while Sebastian's smirk grew bigger. "What was it you need me for again?" "we needed to know all the information you have on this man since he was Moriarty's right hand man but it seems that you will be able to give us much more" Lestrade said with tone that stated all business and profession but I could still see the shock lingering on his face and a faint trail od disbelief in his voice as if it was an aftertaste.

"Greg I know nothing of Seb since he was discharged from the army and had he was one of _his" _I spat out the last part with venom suddenly having a feeling of betrayal, loss because the man who had been my best friend during six long years of war and now knowing he was one of Moriarty's, _wait no_, I thought not just one of Moriarty's but HIS RIGHT HAND MAN AS IN HIS BEST ASSASIN, It was too much.

Greg was looking at me with a slightly worried look on his face and steered me outside the room giving Sebastian a warning look behind him as he closed the door.

"Ok John" Greg said then sighed and rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his greying hair "I understand you have had nothing to do with him since your days in the army but" _here it comes _I thought " we need you to interview him try and get some answers out of him since you knew him" and _there it is _"but Greg" is said exasperatedly "just because I knew him the doesn't mean-" I was cut short by Greg " we were going to get you to interview him anyway since your connection with this whole affair and with Sherlock" _affair, because that is all what it was wasn't it? just another bunch of cases, just another thing for the morning paper to gossip about, its as if Sherlock's death was just another event for the press, affair, well if that whole nightmare was just an affair to him a crime fling than what was I to him? was I just another victim, another witness? _

_"_John? John I'm sorry, that was a poor choice of words, I-"

"forget it"

"John please"

"Its fine"

"Are you sure?"

"mm hmm"

"Well..."

"fine, fine, fine I will do it, but don't expect any results" I finally huffed out. Greg's face broke into another goofy grin as I made my way to the door " don't worry you'll do fine" he reassured but it came upon deaf ears. _Right_ I thought _lets get this over with then._

**OKay Next chapter is when John starts to turn to the dark side. It will be up soon! :)**


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